The hazy new beginnings of motherhood filled with lack of sleep, anxiety, hormones all over the place, a sense of guilt when you just don’t know what to do to get a crying baby to stop….arggghhh!!...we’ve all been there. You know what's the real torture?? you have friends, aunts, neighbors, even strangers at every nook and cranny advising you ; sleep when the baby sleeps - Really!! (try it please). New moms are not an electrical appliance that can be switched off with one press of a button, and in case it does happen it won’t be long before mommy hits her pure state of rest that a crying baby wakes her up - Then you wish you never hit bed to begin with.
Another common reframe is "enjoy this time with your baby, they grow up too fast and you will miss these years” (i am guilty of saying this to new moms) The fact is, at that moment there ain't any mom looking at enjoying colic and spit ups. All a new mom wants is a decent day with a healthy baby and some good nights rest. I am here to shout out to you and lend hope saying..the hard times will pass and a new season awaits (well.. it does not come without it's set of challenges) But you have ran your course and been made stronger to face them.
As my kids have passed baby/toddler phases and moved on to school-going years now, I wake up each morning realizing I have had a full nights rest, no more repetitive routines of feed, change poopie diapers, clean, put them back to sleep with no space to even finish up sides of a meal or even worse finish a solitary chain of thought. Those days are long gone and forgotten!! I now have time to watch a full movie, enjoy a 3 course meal and have a decent time away with girl friends( New mom's you will all get here soon). However, my mommy challenges are new ; I am worrying about not being late for pick ups, getting homeworks/projects tasks completed, making the right decision of what my kids could have without spoiling them, sorting sibling rivalry, managing education expenses. I am presented with new sets of challenges to deal with..phew! and sometimes I wish I could rewind time to those baby years (diapers and spit up looks like a piece of cake). I don’t think any mom can be fully prepared for the many new stressful situations you will face over the years as your child grows. I cannot even begin to think how teenage years is going to look. God give me grace and empower me with much wisdom and patience..yes that will be my prayer!!
A few tips i can give new moms is to allow yourself space to make mistakes and learn from them. Be willing to set limits on your anxiety and be present for you kids. Do not be shy to ask for help when you are exhausted -there's no shame, you only gain. Challenges will come and go but don't let your focus rest on them. You do not have to be the perfect mom society expects you to be, shake off the pressure, slow down and know you are not failing. Even if you fall take courage to pick yourself up and move on further- know you’ve got this and a prayer always works wonders. Know this one truth and let no one steal this from you -YOU ARE THE PERFECT MOTHER FOR YOUR CHILDREN. YOU MATTER!!