Managing your Kids emotions after a mistake

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Mistakes are part and parcel of life and it is sometimes unavoidable. We are not raising ‘Perfect Kids’, we are here to empower them with essential life skills to support  them in bouncing back when faced with a  negative situation- Help them live their best life! STOP nagging, constantly pointing out mistakes and bringing up past mistakes.

My oldest has entered a phase where he messes up and gets frustrated with himself, to the point he sulks in a corner for an extended period. How do we use good judgment in a situation and help our kids get past these situations? Here are a few tips I have learned with time and experience. Now, these tips work best with kids who are 5 years and above. For my youngest it’s "TIME OUT", i am still figuring that one out (LOL!!).

An Example from my 7 year old boy’s experience : “MOM, I suck at football, I was annoyed and i kicked the temporary goal post down when i was playing with friends”

 1. Get the facts out. “Can you describe to me what happened and what led to you feeling this way?  “My friends laughed when I  could not pass and kick with the right techniques, it made me angry, Now they will not want to play with me ever” (my boy’s response)

It is important that we teach them the difference betweenfacts and feelings.  So my response is :

You suck at football is your perception and feeling. I’ve seen you play and i think you are fabulous. You may want to get further coaching to get better at it and we can discuss and look into that ( he is going through a feeling of shame and anger at this point and i am trying to get to the root of that).

Did your friends mention to you that they will never play with you? “NO” (My sons response) . “Then again it’s your perception, hence you feel that way about them. Shake it off and on the weekend you can go back to play with them”. (mom’s response)

Address these feelings and perception withAffirmation/positive reinforcement and see how best you can help the child get better at a skill.

2. Address the mistake and help them identify  a wrong behavior. Kicking the goal post down was a reaction to that feeling of anger and do you think that was the right thing to do ? “NO” (my son’s response). “Ok that is an unacceptable behavior! great you recognize that so in the future you will be mindful not to be destructive”. (mom’s response)

3.  Address the feeling. Can you describe to me what exactly is the feeling that was  going through you when you destroyed the goal post? and what is going on now? Does it hurt in your tummy or you feel sick, you feel like punching… What are you going to do about these feelings in the future?  Hear them out.

Allow them to come up with a plan or guide them with options. My options : You should apologize for kicking the goal post down.It would be a great idea to talk to your friends and let them know that you feelings are hurt when they laugh at you . You may want dad and mom to have a word with them.

4. Address consequences.  There are always consequences for bad attitude and behaviors. Discuss with kids what are the consequences to expect the next time around the mistake is repeated.

 5.Teach them a life lesson and reassure them.  Teach them how to manage emotions. Let them know, the next time you go through these emotions walk away, think through it and have a talk with your friends and family about your feelings. Let kids know there is always a learning to take away from every mistake. Discuss the learning from this present mistake.

Love unconditionally!!! Never withhold love from your child just because he/she makes mistakes. Remember we all do and we all deserve to be loved no matter what!

 

How do parents manage emotions of their kids after they have messed up? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment on the box below. Looking  forward to learning from you.

Wire World Adventure Park hits town

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Little known facts about me: I am born with a zest for life. I was the girl who jumped off a plane at 10,000 feet tandem-falling from the sky, on a skydiving expedition. I was the one who stepped off the edge and bungee dived into thin air at the Niagara Falls area. I loved the thrill of abseiling down Tamarind falls in Mauritius. I have experienced the electrifying bolt of what letting go of inhibitions, and taking a leap offers. As a mom, I intend to raise kids who conquer their fears and strive at achieving the impossible. I want to cultivate the adventure gene in our kids, to get in on the action and accumulate experiences and not possessions. When ‘Cocoon to Butterfly’ was invited to Dubai Sports World venue at the Dubai World Trade Center to experience Wire World Adventure Park, I was quick to grab the opportunity, to experience the unusual and the exciting. The Park features a mobile rope course, with a variety of fun bridges and crossings for kids to navigate in a series of elevated challenges. It also features a three platform bungee trampoline – which can also be used as a kite-surf simulator - for kids and adults.

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Safety comes first and there are no compromises with that golden rule. The lil adventure tribe got fitted with their harnesses and helmets (complete with lanyard and safety clips) and walked through the rules before they set off on their course. They started out with the rope course, which boasts a series of eight obstacles on a meandering, 1.80-metre-high wooden platform installed and secured on a two-metre-high pole base. My little Abhishek is a fearless junkie, and as soon as he got locked in on the line, he took off. The other kids followed. To my surprise the ones who were battling the fear of heights faced them head on and displayed confidence as they inched closer towards taming their fears.

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The little superheroes moved on to try the Bungee Trampoline. With bungee cords and ropes, the traditional trampoline transforms  to give participants a gravity-defying experience. It was exhilarating to watch my oldest spring into air and experience the whip through his hair doing back-flips, looking like Spiderman on a mission.The crew assisting the kids was professional, friendly and helped all the kids soar sky-high, making it super exciting. This attraction is for participants who weigh between 15 to 99 kilos. So I thought to myself why should boys have all the fun, I would do this in a heartbeat. I am no less feminine because I love bouncing off a trampoline or throwing myself down heights. Hence, I gave the vertical experience a go. It was exciting to experience the sheer thrill of weightlessness.

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I wish however there were more obstacles and challenges to tackle to keep my kids going through the day. My wish is just about to come true as I was given a brief on the 2,322 square meter, Wire World Park, in Meydan, which is scheduled to open later this year. It boasts of 70 obstacles, zip lines and rope swings set across trees and rocks.

With summer in full swing, and kids on school break, are you a mommy in Dubai brainstorming to find exciting summer activities to keep your little ones entertained? This place is totally Child-tastic!! Guaranteed to have your kids stoked this summer. Feed your kids excitement and spark their sense of adventure at Wire World Adventure Park, in the regions largest indoor sports venue. The 22,000m², fully air-conditioned venue in DWTC also offers  Summer Camps and academy classes for sports.

For more information visit :  www.dubaisportsworld.ae 

Location: Dubai Sports World, Sheikh Saeed Hall, Dubai World Trade Centre

Timings: 11.00 am-10.00pm

Mobile Course: AED 3O per Person (for 2 rounds)

Bungee Trampoline: AED 35 per person (for a 5 minute session)

Combined Ticket (Mobile course+ Bungee Trampoline): AED 50 per person