Managing your Kids emotions after a mistake

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Mistakes are part and parcel of life and it is sometimes unavoidable. We are not raising ‘Perfect Kids’, we are here to empower them with essential life skills to support  them in bouncing back when faced with a  negative situation- Help them live their best life! STOP nagging, constantly pointing out mistakes and bringing up past mistakes.

My oldest has entered a phase where he messes up and gets frustrated with himself, to the point he sulks in a corner for an extended period. How do we use good judgment in a situation and help our kids get past these situations? Here are a few tips I have learned with time and experience. Now, these tips work best with kids who are 5 years and above. For my youngest it’s "TIME OUT", i am still figuring that one out (LOL!!).

An Example from my 7 year old boy’s experience : “MOM, I suck at football, I was annoyed and i kicked the temporary goal post down when i was playing with friends”

 1. Get the facts out. “Can you describe to me what happened and what led to you feeling this way?  “My friends laughed when I  could not pass and kick with the right techniques, it made me angry, Now they will not want to play with me ever” (my boy’s response)

It is important that we teach them the difference betweenfacts and feelings.  So my response is :

You suck at football is your perception and feeling. I’ve seen you play and i think you are fabulous. You may want to get further coaching to get better at it and we can discuss and look into that ( he is going through a feeling of shame and anger at this point and i am trying to get to the root of that).

Did your friends mention to you that they will never play with you? “NO” (My sons response) . “Then again it’s your perception, hence you feel that way about them. Shake it off and on the weekend you can go back to play with them”. (mom’s response)

Address these feelings and perception withAffirmation/positive reinforcement and see how best you can help the child get better at a skill.

2. Address the mistake and help them identify  a wrong behavior. Kicking the goal post down was a reaction to that feeling of anger and do you think that was the right thing to do ? “NO” (my son’s response). “Ok that is an unacceptable behavior! great you recognize that so in the future you will be mindful not to be destructive”. (mom’s response)

3.  Address the feeling. Can you describe to me what exactly is the feeling that was  going through you when you destroyed the goal post? and what is going on now? Does it hurt in your tummy or you feel sick, you feel like punching… What are you going to do about these feelings in the future?  Hear them out.

Allow them to come up with a plan or guide them with options. My options : You should apologize for kicking the goal post down.It would be a great idea to talk to your friends and let them know that you feelings are hurt when they laugh at you . You may want dad and mom to have a word with them.

4. Address consequences.  There are always consequences for bad attitude and behaviors. Discuss with kids what are the consequences to expect the next time around the mistake is repeated.

 5.Teach them a life lesson and reassure them.  Teach them how to manage emotions. Let them know, the next time you go through these emotions walk away, think through it and have a talk with your friends and family about your feelings. Let kids know there is always a learning to take away from every mistake. Discuss the learning from this present mistake.

Love unconditionally!!! Never withhold love from your child just because he/she makes mistakes. Remember we all do and we all deserve to be loved no matter what!

 

How do parents manage emotions of their kids after they have messed up? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment on the box below. Looking  forward to learning from you.

A mom's Review- Fun City Dubai

As a mom of 3 kids aged 5 and under I have trawled through Dubai’s myriad of play areas to find a suitable one, where I could let my kids run around and burn off some steam. As for myself what I look for in a play area is a place that combines fun, safety and affordability. This weekend I enjoyed a play date with some of the C2B mommies and kids at ‘Fun City’ in Arabian Center, Mirdif. This Play area is worth a drive if you have never been. It is packed with high fun factor with a variety of play features. It is set in many locations in Dubai city, nestled within accessible shopping malls. Many of the features are similar to other play areas, but with a definite twist. My kids got excited the most over games that awarded tickets when you play and the redemption area with exciting prizes. This facility has entertainment geared for children of all ages, including an enclosed padded area for toddlers. My 2-year-old son loved it too and was able to keep up with his 5-year-old brother. Entry is on a card system basis, which gives accessibility to any of their play areas without having to register every time. To make the most of the card buy higher credit and be awarded with more points. Features:

Video games, art and craft zone, Fun and learn zones, Soft play area and gym with climbing features, entertaining rides, party hall and games that give redemption tickets.

What’s Great:

* Friendly staff

* Safety and sanitation protocols in place

* Affordable and accessible.

* Variety of play options

* Suitable for different genders and different age groups

What’s not:

* Prices are not inclusive for art.

Verdict : 4.5 (out of 5)

Overall this indoor play area is guaranteed to capture the curiosity of your toddlers while it provides a one-stop-shop entertainment for your older sparks.

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I was invited to check out Fun City for the purpose of this review. All content and comments are based on my own opinion and was not influenced by any external factors.

 

 

GUARD OUR TREASURE

This week I have dedicated my time with my kids to teach them about ‘STRANGER DANGER’. The city where we live is considered one of the most safest, yet we frequently hear about predators targeting children as young as a 3 year old. As parents, we often think our children are way too young to practice safety measures. I say 'Better early than Sorry'. It is tricky to strike a balance between teaching children safety without having them to feel this great world is a dangerous place to be and most people they meet are scary. I am on a journey of creating some family rules for our boys to abide by. I have also thought of making this teaching a practical one by inculcating some role-play sessions with my kids. I urge Parents to make it a point to be intentional about bringing safety awareness into your family. Join me in this ‘GUARD OUR TREASURE ‘run. ‘I have attached an interesting video for preschoolers and young kids to watch as a first step towards learning about ‘STRANGER DANGER’

Have fun while you equip your children with the knowledge and strategy to protect themselves in a dangerous situation. The most important lesson as parents we need to bear in mind is that we are not taking our children through a journey where we instill fear,rather we empower them with confidence and assure them that help is a prayer and shout away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEtJtFEVDbI

 

Event:Register for C2B PotLuck

Calling all moms to be and moms in Dubai with children (Babies to teenagers) who are interested in stepping out with your kids for some fun time. Here is an opportunity to socialize and make lifelong friendships for yourself and your children. We are a group of moms who get together  with our children once a month for a coffee morning, play-date or  just a casual hangout where we have some great conversations. This month we invite you to join us in a PotLuck Get-togethere, details of which are given below. Kindly register if interested. The best part..it is FREE!!

Looking forward to meeting all you Mommies and Kiddos!

Event: Coffee Morning Chronicles

A coffee morning for moms and moms to be took place on the 30th of November  2013 at ‘Caboodle’ in Dubai Mall. It was an enjoyable couple of hours with women savouring a cuppa and some heart-warming conversations. coffee morningThe purpose of C2B events is to foster socialization and a support system for both mothers and children. We look forward to meeting and welcoming mothers to be, mothers and their children for our next event.